Sigh

I hate to complain, really, I do. There are so many people struggling with so many worse things, but maybe it's venting and asking for godly suggestions more than complaing.

You see, for a good while now, it seems the majority of the time I spend my days struggling with Kaylee to get her to obey and listen. Most of the time, what I am asking or instructing isn't anything all that hard. The request to pick up a few toys, eat nicely, be nice to her brother, etc. However, all of these ultimately end up in a huge battle.

I know, choose your battles. I really feel I do. If I can overlook it, I do. But when I ask her to pick up a few toys, or start cleaning up her room and she says, "NO!" Well, that really isn't something I can overlook. To me, the issue then becomes more about her attitude and disobedience than about the mess.

She then SCREAMS with this half-real-cry and half-super-obnoxious sound for a super long time. It gets to the point that I can't even talk to her right then. Our time-out rule is the time doesn't start until she is quiet. In my opinion, if she is still screaming and yelling at me, she is still partaking of unacceptable behavior. Once she finishes, I don't have her sit there all that long.

But as much as she hates the discipline, most of the time she gets right back to the misbehaving. And.I.Just.don't.know.what.to.do.

We pray about it together. I pray for her all the time. I seriously encourage and make a HUGE deal of her behavior when she listens and obeys. I remind her how good she feels at that time, and how much easier it is to just listen and not get in trouble.

It doesn't seem to have any kind of lasting impact, though. You know the funny thing? When we do school, for the most part, she behaves perfectly. She listens and obeys and works really hard.

I think that is one of the hardest things about this is I know how well she CAN be. I know she has the ability to listen. All the tasks I am asking her to do, she has the ability to do and has done in the past.

Basically, it gets so tiring that she behaves like this. Adam and I have made a big effort to do some special things with the bigger kids. The other week we won movie tickets to see Rio in 3D, so Adam took Kaylee, paid 1 million dollars for some popcorn and a Coke, and they spent a few hours together. I think she enjoyed it, but she wasn't as overjoyed as I thought she would be.

I am trying and trying and trying to teach her to be thankful and grateful, and content, and though sometimes I seem to get through to her, it's back to the same old, same old.

Suggestions? Advice?

Clearly, this isn't something I'll ever give up on. Ever. But I'd like to get to some kind of root of this to lessen the amount of freak outs we have. They're just wearing me out. These little loves of my life are only small once, and while I am still incredibly thankful to be here with them, I'd like to enjoy the moments in the moments just a bit more.

School

This week we started preschool at home. Kaylee is totally into it, but Logan's attention span is not quite up for it. He sits for a while, comes and goes, which is completely what I expected.

A few weeks ago Kaylee finished up at Jenny's with the preschool she was doing. That experience was invaluable, and I am so thankful we did it. We did some looking into preschool for both of them in the fall, but for several reasons, it's not going to work.

We knew not doing anything wouldn't be good for Kaylee. She learned so much, and I hate to just stop all together, so the only logical thing was for me to do school with them at home. Our plan is to mostly do stuff while Adam is working because those days are the days it is hardest for me to do my work anyway.

I don't have a curriculum or anything, but we're having fun. We start with prayer, our memory Bible verse, and then go from there. I can tailor it to what Kaylee feels like doing. The other day when we started, they were begging me to do school all day.

We were working on adding, and Kaylee said, "Hmm, that's funny, 4+4=8, and 2+6=8. Let me see if I'm right. ... Yup, I'm right."

Obviously, she picks up on stuff quickly, so she is really fun to teach. I am so thankful we are able to make the sacrifices necessary for me to be at home with them. It's not always easy to be at home all day. I miss interaction with friends, a steady paycheck, and sometimes quiet. :) However, I'd never trade even our worst days for anything.

Adam works so hard to make all this possible. He works overtime almost anytime there is some available. Next week, he has 36 hours of overtime in addition to his already 48-72-hour normal schedule. That's a lot of the firehouse! We miss him. He misses us.

When we have weeks like that, we always try to do something special and fun as a family right before or right after, like going to the park, going out to eat, or even just spending extra time NOT doing housework.

I look around, and am often overwhelmed. Sometimes it's overwhelming to think of everything I have to do. Laundry. Cleaning. Diaper changes. Dishes. Vacuuming. Dusting. Diaper changes. But mostly, it's overwhelming in a good way. I have three amazing kids and one absolutely amazing husband. God was way generous when He allowed me to be born for such a time as this, and placed in such a place as this.

I have recently been so grateful and amazed about God's provisions, but I think I'll save that for another post.

Time to go...

Saving Money

I'm in the middle of watching that new extreme couponing show right now, so it has me thinking about saving money, and perhaps snipping a few more coupons.

Here are a few things we do to save money:
1. We make our own laundry detergent. I think in the past year, or so, we've spent maybe around $15 on detergent, and we do a TON of laundry!

2. We shop discount stores as much as we can. Adam and I have talked about this numerous times how blessed we are to have numerous stores that offer super discounts. One of my favorite local grocery stores sells name-brand yogurt for 12-15 cents a container as a regular price, and a few weeks ago I got name-brand cheese, 2lbs for 99 cents! I was excited about that for a long time!

3. I use mostly cloth diapers. It is a lot of work, but saves so much, especially since we have two in diapers.

4. We rarely impulse buy. This one is a little harder for me than it is Adam, which is why it's good we shop together most of the time. It is incredibly rare that we buy something pricey without planning, searching for the best deal, and making sure we really need it.

5. I'm sure there are more, but finally, if we can't afford it, we don't get it. It's simple, but it really works. We have both decided debt is something we want to avoid as much as we possibly can.

So how about you? What do you do to save money? What kind of coupon tips do you have?

Hey, What Are You Looking At?

Oh, you're looking at us. Yeah, thought so.

Today we were at Kohls with about 7.56 million other people...more or less. I realized the other day that Kaylee didn't have any tennis shoes, so I wanted to try to find a decent pair on sale. (The second-hand store I go to for some shoes didn't have anything close to acceptable.) I also wanted to check out some shower curtains. Not too much to ask, right?

Wrong.

Detour for a second...Adam and I decided on this trip into the store that we were not allowing both of our parents to go on vacation/trips at the same time again. Ever.

We made it to the shoes and quickly found a great pair that Kaylee loved, and bonus, they were a really good deal. Here is where I *wish* our trip had ended. Looking back, I should have run walked to the check-out line, thrown handed my credit card to the cashier, and rushed walked out.

(insert ominious music)

We walked back to the shower curtain area. This is where the older kids thought running around the displays would be fun. They went different ways. I was attempting to remain calm and in control, yet it was clear as day to all 7.56 million shopping near us that I was a crazy mom with THOSE kids. I mean, I'm all for fun, and honestly, they weren't being destructive at all. But not everyone likes to shop with little kids whizzing by them as they browse trough the placemats and toothbrush holders. I try to be respectful of them, and teach the kids that as well.

We finally caught put Logan into the stroller, grabbed a curtain and some new dish towels, and headed to the front, all the while, Logan...screaming...really, really loud. (In his defense, he had a really wet diaper and didn't want to sit...)

And all the while, getting those looks. Oh, you know what I'm talking about. The fake little smiles from people, while they're thinking, Those people can't control their kids. They belong in a barn. Smile. Smirk.

Once we got to the front, I begged asked Adam to take Samantha and Logan out while Kaylee and I paid. Other than her undying obsession to touch the check-out counter, which drives me nuts because those things HAVE to be filthy, the rest of that part of the trip was uneventful. Sigh. It's the life, isn't it?