(Sorry about the font...I can't publish my posts my regular way...always something, you know...)
In about 2 months, I'll be giving you a more exciting baby update…you know, one including real baby pictures. But for now…
~Samantha moves frequently enough that I know she is okay, but not nearly as much as either of the other kids did. Not sure what that might mean about her personality.
~Based on the ultrasound the other day, Sam and Logan have the same nose.
~I am very uncomfortable and more than ready to have this baby.
~Based on the ultrasound (again) Sam is on the bigger side…this scares me.
I keep trying not to rush this and savor every moment, but this becomes increasingly hard when I'm so increasingly uncomfortable. I spent the better part of the first 20 weeks being very sick. This was made worse by feeling like a slacker mom with my other kids, and not feeling I was there for anyone… At the end of the day, I had nothing left for my ever-loving husband, and that broke my heart.
Now, I'm not so sick, but have become pummeled by bad heartburn…I mean, a glass of water could give me heartburn. My back hurts. I'm tired. I feel like a giant, huge, waddling creature. I often find myself wearing Adam's shorts to bed…they're just more comfortable. I sort of wish I could get away with wearing them all the time…okay, more than sort of.
At the same time…I'm in love. So in love with this little girl growing inside me. I don't get tired of feeling her move, even if it makes me uncomfortable. I know that in such a short time, I'll have to share her. I also sort of don't like that idea…okay, more than sort of. I love listening to Kaylee talk about her sister being in my belly, and then making up stories of when she was in my belly. I'm sort of in between wanting to freeze time, knowing she is our last, and wanting to speed up time…I can't wait to meet her.
I keep thinking of something my dad used to always tell me. "It will be here before you know it." "It" could refer to anything…but it was always his way of reminding me to calm down, relax, and know it will be here before I know it. And you know what? Dad was always right.
I think back to a few weeks before our vacation to the beach. We were all so ready to go. AND…the day came, we packed up, spent a great week at the beach, and it's over. Done. Just like that. Looking into the future from that time, September seemed a long way away. Now…it's almost over. In a few short days, we'll be celebrating Logan's SECOND birthday! (Talk about time flying…)
So while two months seems like eternity now, I know it will be here before I know it. As hard as it is, I'm trying to slow down. Calm down. Take a deep breath. And wait. Enjoy the movements of Sam inside, and the times I have with just Kaylee and Logan (outside). Soon, our lives will forever change even more than they are forever changed now.
