Happy Birthday Bubba

One year ago today our little Logan was born. And to state the obvious, our lives have not been the same since.

I went into labor somewhere around 4:00 in the morning. Adam was supposed to work that day, so near the time the alarm was going to go off, I told him I didn't think he was going to have to go. Being about 10 days past the due date, he wasn't too surprised. We waited a while longer before we called anyone as a week before we went to the hospital thinking we were coming home with Logan. Well, I suppose we did come home with him, just not in a car seat.

It was somewhere around noon that we dropped Kaylee off with Mom so that she could eat and have a nap.

Now, of course there had to be something else going on that day. For some reason Zoe decided she needed to have some kind of growth/spot/thing happen on her leg the day before. So throughout our entire getting ready and trying to get into the mindset of getting ready to have a baby, we were figuring out how to get her to the vet. Long story short…Jason took her and it was a fungus. No big deal.

On with having a baby…

When we got to the hospital, I wasn't too far along in the labor. (Meaning progression, not hours.)

The midwife, who happened to be on call that day…her only on call day that week…and the midwife I wanted the most, said to walk. So walk we did. We walked. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. Stairs. THE BRIDGE. Hallways. Stairs. THE BRIDGE. Hallways. Cafeteria. Stairs. Hallways. Okay, okay, you get the point. We walked.

She told us if I had progressed even a tiny bit she would break my water, necessitating me to stay and ensuring we would have our little, albeit very comfortable, baby.

At one point, a nurse asked me some question. I am not really sure what it was, but it was something getting at if I had any depression symptoms. My response was something to the effect of, "Not unless you send me home…" To which she couldn't stop laughing. Perhaps she wasn't used to witty women in labor. I don't know.

Fortunately, after what seemed like hours of walking (oh wait, it was hours of walking) I progressed just enough to have my water broken. Thankthelord.

Therein lied the problem to my non-ability to progress. I had so much water that…well, I'll spare the details. There was a lot. Enough that we were all laughing as it… Oh, that's right. I'm sparing the details.

The hours passed and things actually started to progress. The midwife, not truly making predictions, said she thought it would most likely be evening when we delivered.

Evening came and went.

Later in the night?

Later in the night came and went.

By that time, I was so tired I really didn't know if I had it in me to do it anymore. I was all over the place, just trying to find some kind of position that would help me. I went into the bathroom (scenery change needed, perhaps?). It was there that we almost had our baby. Almost.

The nurses were funny. One came running in saying, "You can't have your baby in here!"

Oh yeah? Well, it looks like it might just be happening.

The midwife, on the other hand, was totally calm. She gathered what she needed and was prepared…and maybe a little squished.

However, having a strong firefighter for a husband isn't such a bad thing. *wink* During a three second break, he carried me to the bed where I proceeded to have our 9lb 3.9 oz baby boy at 12:08 on September 25, 2008.

Literally, from the second he was born, I could tell his personality was so different from his sisters.

My original plan had been to have Kaylee in the waiting room, for someone to bring her in, and for the four of us to spend time together, alone, before anyone else came in. Being after midnight however, my plan didn't work.

The next day when Kaylee came, she was most interested in walking the floor to show all the nurses her new purse…a present for the big sister. Oh, and I think she realized her baby brother was there too. ?? :)

 

The past year seems to have passed so quickly. From taking our little pumpkin to the pumpkin patch mere days after birth, to watching him grow and blossom into such a funny little guy.

He is really easy going, that is unless you make him mad. Oh, what a temper.

He is such a joy. He loves his big sister so much. I love to watch him watch her. He tries to do what she is doing…and sometimes it works. He hasn't started walking, but baby it's just a matter of time.

I often gaze at my children and tears just start to flow. I am so blessed. God has entrusted to Adam and me precious life, and I am at times overwhelmed by the enormity of that.

The next years promise to be filled with even more that this first one, Logan. My prayer for you is that you grow into the boy and then the man God has created you to be. You have a soft spirit already, and I pray that you will have compassion for others. When you get on the bus to go to school and there is a little lonely kid, I pray that you will be Jesus to them. Sit with them. Show them the love we try to show to you at home. Always listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. dream big and then go for it. Your daddy and I will always love you. We will be here to support you to the best of our abilities. Logan, my dear, sweet Logan, I love you more than words can express. Happy Birthday, Bubba.

My Funny Girl

Sunday, as the offering plate was about to be passed, Penny (Mimi) asked Kaylee, "Do you want to give some money to God?"

Kaylee, "Yes…"

As the girl walked off with the plate, with "Kaylee's" dollar inside, Kaylee said, "There goes God."

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Most of today has been hard. The kids were extra busy this morning as I tried to work. I was having an extra hard time with the work I was doing…for whatever unknown reason. I made naptime earlier. The kids seemed tired. The kids were not tired. Naptime was almost as horrible hard has the earlier part of the morning.

Finally…and I mean finally, they fell asleep. The house became quiet. And in my spirit there was such a release that all I could do was cry. And cry. And cry.

There is something deeply freeing about being able to cry when no one is around. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. You don't have to stop until you are ready. And you don't really have to have a reason.

I spent some time refocusing and the rest of the day went much better.

I am very thankful for a friend who encouraged me during my rough morning. Her long-distance friendship means so much to me, and I am so thankful for her.

I am also thankful for God's orchestration of even our emotions. He knows when to send us encouragement, and He knows when we need to sort things out. There have been times when I have felt sad or lonely or distraught and I've prayed for God to send someone or something to encourage me. And sometimes He chooses not to in order that I might look to Him even more.

(I'm not saying that God is not always our Encourager, but we are relational beings and there are times we need something tangible…it's just how we were created.)

And out of the times when He chooses to be my only Encourager, I have grown tremendously. And when He allows someone or something to step into my life in the exact moment I need it, there is no other explanation other than God's grace. Either way, it's God in my life…showing me who He is.

I hope tomorrow is better than today. But if it should be another hard day, I know God will lead me to the end closer to Him than I was even today as long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him.

 

Encouragement

To someone looking in, I would say they could assume that my life is perfect. I mean, wonderful, loving, talented husband. Two kids…healthy, picture-perfect cute (you know, if I could ever get them both to look at the camera at the same time). ;) Two dogs. House. Vehicles. Provisions that I am thankful every day of my life.

And yes, I will never for a second downplay my immense blessings.

But that person looking in would only get a partial view. This is the same for anyone who looks at another woman and thinks, "She has it all. If only I could be a little more like her, I'd be happy." Blessed…yes. Perfect, one to be envied…far from it. (Oh, and for the record, the Queen of Comparisons…we won't even go there.)

Lately I've felt in my spirit a quickening…a breakthrough on the horizon. Only…it hasn't come, yet. And if I don't constantly return my spirit to the focus it should have, I tend to sit down at pity party…table for one…far more than I would like to admit.

Now I fully believe this breakthrough, or whatever it is, will come. But, ah, God, can You hurry it up? Has anyone been there? You pray, wait, pray, wait…and you feel oh so close. And then nothing. Or at least it seems like nothing.

I just started Beth Moore's Esther. And although everything has been good, one line caught my attention because it was in big letters in the margin it spoke so clearly to me.

"When we trust our lives to the unseen but ever-present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read. With a grand ending."

Now this anticipation feeling...it's always lingering, but fortunately not always super-strong. Otherwise I'd be exhausted-more than I am anyway.

So I'm in for the journey, wherever it may go. I'm so excited to do the rest of the study. I have my running shoes on, ready to go. Okay, okay, okay, you got me. I have my large coffee in hand, ready to go. Go on, go on, laugh. You know you want to.

I look forward to sharing bits and pieces of Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman. Amen, Beth, you said it. And perhaps you said it best when you said that one of the hardest parts of being a woman is other women. But truth be told, in my opinion, it can also be one of the best parts of being a woman.

I truly cherish the few, close girl-friends I have.

And while I might look at some other girl and wish I could fit into her super-skinny jeans, I know that my post-baby pouch would only fall over the edge, resulting in a less than glamorous effect. But you know what? That's really okay because Ms. Super-Skinny Jean girl might be looking at my babies and wish she too could have kids. So you never know what is going on through the glass window. It might not be as clear as it appears.

 

 

 

Here and There

I can't believe it's already September. I'm mere days away from having a 1-year-old! By this time when Kaylee was little, she had been running around for months. Logan, however, is taking his time…which is fine by me! He has been crawling for a while, and is getting pretty good at pulling up and occasionally standing on his own. More on Logan later…

We just spent a long weekend in West Virginia, visiting family again. It was way too fun and way too quick. I can't wait to post pictures…but they are still on the camera.

I'm really excited about starting Beth Moore's Esther tomorrow. Her insight and presentation is truly a gift and a blessing. I come away so enriched after each of her studies, conferences, and books. I can't wait to see what this one has in store.

I've also been working on several sewing projects, so if I ever get them finished and I hope to post some pictures of them sometime soon. Unfortunately there is not a good fabric store around, so I have to order a few things online…thus slowing the projects even more.

So, that's a small bit of what has been going on, and is getting ready to go on. I have been pretty much neglecting the blog, and need to get back to it.

 

 

 

What Color Are His Eyes?

Yes friends, that is the first thing Kaylee wanted to know when she caught this:

Rewind the clock a few days…

We were at Wal-Mart fighting for our lives through the crowds shopping for a few things. Adam went to look for one thing, and I went to look for something else. When we met back up, he had one thing…and another-Dora fishing pole. Somehow we managed to hide it in the pole until we got home. That evening, while I worked, they practiced with 'practice fish.'

Then…the poor little fishergirl had to wait through the entire next day to actually go to the riber. As soon as Adam walked through the door, Kaylee exclaimed, "Are you ready to go fishing in the riber?" So they packed their stuff and off they went.

Part way through the trip I got a phone call…a rather excited phone call. Kaylee, on her tiny, little rod, had managed to catch a fish bigger than anything Adam had ever caught.

They kept it out of the water long enough to look at it a minute and take a few pictures. As Adam was showing it to her, all Kaylee wanted to know was, "What color are his eyes?"

Adam asked her if she wanted to keep the fish or put it back. Her response, "Put him back. He has to eat."

So tonight, somewhere in the river, a happy BIG fish is eating. You're welcome, Mr. Fish, you're welcome.