So what's this pretending thing all about?

Kaylee loves to pretend. Logan, obviously, doesn't know what it means to pretend. When you put a spoon in his little mouth there best be something on it. So you can imagine his surprise when Kaylee just tried to feed him pretend grapes and broccoli…

He happily opened his mouth several times as she put the play spoon in his mouth…never once getting a real bite of what she "made" him.

He didn't get mad. After all, it was his beloved and adored sister who did this. Now if I tried that trick with him there would be trouble…words…mean faces of all kinds.

This past weekend was great. My cousin Kelly was married to Ben in a beautiful service…pictures to come later.

Sunday we went to church, as we usually do. After church we were going to Adam's parents for his birthday lunch…all was good. Then, close to the end of the service Michelle's phone rang. It was pretty strange for the particular caller to be calling, so she stepped out to return the phone call. Before she had finished sitting down she was whispering to me, "Pam Swecker just coded in church…" What? She did what? What happened? The remainder of the service became a blur, as I partially tried to focus on the amazing song going on, but mostly tried to comprehend what was going on.

Before we left church we learned that our dear friend (who I met in the rescue squad) had passed away while she was at church. Evidentially it was even their children's church Sunday. The night before Pam and her family celebrated their daughter's 7^th birthday. She has another boy who is only a few years older.

My heart aches even now as I think of the devastation this family is going through. It was sudden. It was far from expected. From what I understand there were no warnings at all.

As I tucked my babies into bed I tried to savor every nanosecond of it. I know when she tucked her kids in bed Saturday night she had no clue it would be her last time to do so.

Life is fleeting.

A moment.

A vapor.

How many times do I go through the motions, forget to love and appreciate the ones I love? I hate to think it…but any day could be the last, or the last of someone I love. We can't live a life of regret for moments we might not have savored. We can't live a life of regret for things we didn't do. But we can live life now. We can go pray over our kids as they sleep. We can hug and kiss them a few more times every day. We can linger a little longer as we hug and kiss our husband. We can stop for a minute and send an email to a friend, reminding them how much they mean to us.

We also can't live life in fear. This, at times, can be hard. With a firefighter husband I know there are real dangers to his job. I have to take every thought captive that would lead me to think about what could happen. I can't fear something happening to him or to my kids. And as hard as it is to sometimes put this into action, it must be done. God has not given us a spirit of fear. We have been given HIS Spirit.

So as I reflect on the loss of a friend, taken too soon it would seem, I pray for her family. I pray for her husband. I pray for her little boy. I pray for her little girl. My eyes swell with tears as I think of these two, so close to their momma, now going without her. But the Lord will be their strength. He will carry them through.

If you've made it to the end of this post, please say a prayer for my friends. They need them now more than ever.

Thanks.

Beach Trip, part 2

Since coming home life has been very busy. I came home to plenty of work, which is great. I've been really enjoying listening to the different sermons and seminars I've been transcribing. But all that work leaves not too much time to blog and document the kid's first beach trip.

This weekend Kelly, my cousin, is getting married and I'm doing the flowers, so again…not much time.

Most of the time we were on the beach Logan was most content when we dug a hole and put him in it. I suppose it made him feel a bit more secure in the vast, open space.

I've been to the beach before, so I can't imagine what was going on in his little head as we took him to such a different place. Having a cold didn't help, but the little guy is so observant that it must have been overwhelming just to be there. He wasn't much of one for the water most of the time. There were a few times he started to enjoy himself, but for the most part the hole it was.

Kaylee on the other hand, jumped right in. There actually wasn't much pause when we first got there. No standing in awe. Not really many questions. Just running on the sand. She was a very good listener for almost the entire vacation. We rarely had to repeat instructions or continuously tell her to come back, don't do that, come here, stop running…all of that. I think she knew that we were in such a different place there was no messing around. There were a few times she got bold and started to go to the water without us, but I was actually surprised at how well she listened…the first time.

Oh, there's so much more to write about, but for now I'll just post a bunch of picture and then try to come back and fill in gaps with stories and such.

Excuse the oversized and stretched tank top I can frequently be seen wearing. It makes me look like a cow. I wore it because the bathing suit I have was what I wore last year when I was pregnant with Logan and now is too big. In the ocean especially. And since I wanted to play with the kids and not worry about flashing all beach goers...I donned what would ultimately make me look bovine-ish in all of the pictures. …and yes, I did get a new suit for the beach, but it wasn't much better on the side of staying put in the ocean. Perhaps one day I will find one that fits well. Donations would be greatly appreciated. Just kidding…or not.

Beach, part 1

We are at the beach…with a few unexpected setbacks. When we got here it was getting later, but we wanted to make a "quick" trip to the beach. We were there about ten minutes and then it started to thunder and lightning so we had to head back. Yesterday morning was very nice though. We packed up all of our stuff and headed out. We played in the sand and the water for several hours.

We have this little tent for Logan that has SPF/UV block in it. Well, at one point I looked in and asked Kaylee what she was doing in there. Now, keep in mind Logan was not in there, but all of our stuff was. She informed me that she was pee-peeing. Yeah. Nice.

Around noon we headed back to the room for lunch and naps. Then we got ready with plans to stop and get a few things we needed and then eat. On our way to eat Kaylee started gagging and throwing up.

And so began our evening. We stopped and got everything cleaned up and her clothes changed. She was starting to get what seems like a cold. Yup, that's just what we need on vacation.

We found a pizza place that had tons of little arcade games. Kaylee wasn't much for eating, but she did have fun playing a few games.

We then decided to forgo any playing and just take a short walk on the beach.

We were up a good bit of the night with our sick little pumpkin. Finally, around 4am Adam headed out to Wal-Mart to get a few meds that we hadn't packed. They seemed to really help.

We're lying low this morning and plan to head to the beach and the beach play ground in a bit.

Hopefully we're done with the worst of the yucky and will be able to enjoy the rest of our vacation. Because it's really no fun in the middle of the night when you're trying to get your kid to sip a little coke, and she looks at you pitifully and says, "I want coke at my house, mommy."

Three, Two, One…

Blast off! In mere hours we will be on our way to the beach. We are all really excited about this. Well, except for Logan. He just goes wherever we take him and gets excited on his own terms. Perhaps the grocery store would be equally exciting to him??? Or not.

I have been packing and stuffing the van full of all of our, well, stuff. I have a space *approximately* the size of a cooler left. (I hope.) If not I am not sure what I will do. I'll leave that to Adam. He'll be home by then.

Our ETL (estimated time to leave) is 0500. Hopes are that the kids will either fall back to sleep or will be dazed at least for a few hours. We'll make some stops along the way and have some time to play once we get to the beach.

Well…that's it for now. Hopefully I'll have time here and there to post a little sumpin sumpin with some super cute pictures while we're there.

Woven and Spun

As we quickly (but sort of slowly) approach our time to leave for the beach, the kids and I had kind of a slow day today. It was cooler and rainy outside, so we stayed in, played, read books, sang some songs, danced, and watched some cartoons.

I started a little packing, but with tomorrow and the weekend left before we leave, there was only so much I could pack and prepare. I have pages of lists of things that have to be done, purchased and packed…but not too much that I could do today.

Now, don't get me wrong. There is still more than plenty to do around the house. There always is. There always will be. And I did do some of it…dishes, laundry, picking up, but since I didn't have work to do I decided to take some extra time and just chill with the kids.

At one point during the day we were all back in Kaylee's room, playing with toys and having fun. I put a CD on for some background music.

As I listened to the following song I was struck again by how quickly my kids are growing up.

I Am

Nicole Nordeman:

Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn't always this tall
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed
You watched my team win
You watched my team lose
Watched when my bicycle went down again
And when I was weak, unable to speak
Still I could call You by name
And I said, Elbow Healer, Superhero
Come if You can
You said, I Am

Only sixteen, life is so mean
What kind of curfew is at 10pm?
You saw my mistakes
And watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I'd never love again
And when I was weak, unable to speak
Still I could call You by name
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper
Be my best friend
And you said, I Am

You saw me wear white by pale candlelight
I said forever to what lies ahead
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
Too much it might seem when it is 2am
And when I am weak, unable to speak
Still I will call You by name
Shepherd, Savior, Pasture Maker
Hold onto my hand
You say, I Am

The winds of change and circumstance blow in and all around us
So we find a foothold that's familiar
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer

When life had begun, I was woven and spun
You let the angels dance around the throne
And who can say when, but they'll dance again
When I am free and finally headed home
I will be weak, unable to speak
Still I will call You by name
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer
Comforter, Healer, my Redeemer
Lord and King, Beginning and the End

I Am
Yes, I Am

 

As each verse represents a different stage of life, I can look over mine, seeing some being finished and some yet to come, but all going quickly.

So although it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, one thing always leading to another to another to another, today was a good change to savor some of the stiller more quiet moments. (or maybe not so still or quiet)

Like the moment when I was feeding Logan his cereal this morning. He grinned and started shaking his head 'no,' so I shook mine 'yes,' and he continued with a silly grin on his face.

Like the moment when Kaylee heard a new song, jumped up and started dancing all over the room.

Like the moment Kaylee grabbed her blanket and told me she wanted to cuddle with me.

Like the moment(s) I spent chasing Logan out of the dog toy box.

Like the moment Kaylee pooped on the potty. (this = big deal in our potty training.)

Like the moment Logan laid his head down on me and just cuddled.

These are the moments I'd never trade for anything. They're not so monumental in and of themselves, but added up they make my life what it is.

 

To The Moon

Last night Mimi and Pops kept the kids so we could get up very early and set up for our yard sale. They had a few small fireworks for Kaylee to enjoy, and of course they caught lightning bugs. At one point Kaylee ran into the yard, squatted down and said,

    "I can ride a lightning bug to the moon. It will be fun!"

Logan was in bed long before the fireworks and bugs, but Kaylee thoroughly enjoyed both. Adam and I enjoyed a picnic with some friends…and we didn't even have to chase any kids around. Not that I usually mind, but once in a while it's nice to enjoy a conversation to the end and a meal before what is hot turns to cold.

You're Out of Here

I absolutely love getting rid of junk. At one point or another it may (or may not have) served a purpose, but when that time is up it's really time to move it out. I've been collecting stuff for a while for a yard sale. Today I went to mom's house(s) to gather a van and car load more of crap
junk wonderful stuff that someone would surely have good use for.

Included in the vehicles full of crap
junk wonderful stuff that someone would surely have good use for, were a few boxes of things that I still had at my parent's. It was past high time that I removed the stuff from their house, however in light of my current ridding our house of as much unnecessary crap
junk…you get the picture… I didn't really want to have to find homes for this stuff.

I hung onto tons of old letters that my friends wrote to me in high school and college. I had fun reading through a lot of them, but Adam laughed when I told him I took a nice trip down memory lane and then threw it away. There were a few letters I saved from my grandmothers who have passed away. I'm sure I can find a nook or cranny to put them in.

So I have one more day to go through stuff…watch out, if you come within ten feet of me you might just end up in a box. Or not…but maybe. Saturday we'll be up at an hour I frankly don't visit with my eyes open much, all for the sake of a few bucks. I hope it's worth it, but with my recent surgery and upcoming vacation it won't be bad to even make a few dollars.

The rest of the weekend promises to be just as packed with friends and family gatherings. Hopefully I'll remember my camera and be able to share pictures soon.