Esther

This past week, we concluded our Esther Bible study by Beth Moore. It was amazing. Simply amazing. I was reflecting this week about the feelings that sometimes follow the conclusion of something like this. It can be overwhelming trying to meld what I've learned with everything currently going on. It's easy to occasionally think about it, but for the most part move on and not thoroughly process what I've learned. I don't like it, but honestly, it's the way it sometimes is.

This time…the tables are going to turn. I'm not going to just move on and not take time to process and apply what I've learned. It's too valuable and to critical to let that happen. So to kind of overview what I hope to process through (and more)…it's hard being a woman. My husband saw that caption on the cover of the book, and sort of laughed saying, "You have it good." Yes, I do have it good. I won't deny that for a single second because it would be a lie if I did. BUT despite the fact that I'm blessed beyond words, it's still hard being a woman.

One thing Beth points out is that no one is as hard on us as we are, and as we are on other women. So until I post again about this, for now I'm going to focus on being more aware of this. Being more aware of how I think of myself and how I think of others, women in particular…envy, distain, jealousy…yeah the list could go on.

God has been revealing so many things to me lately about myself, and to be completely honest, and to restate a theme…the tables have to turn. I have to change. I need to be a better wife, mom, friend, servant, leader… And as much as the ugly side repulses me, I'm so excited because as I listen to the voice of God and move in the direction He is taking me, I'll only be more prepared for such a time as this.